Sunday, 11 December 2011

Dogs and Twats

A dog - 'Simon Says' urban dictionary definition: a woman who wears copious amounts of make-up in public and is dressed in a manner that is somewhat cheap.

A twat - 'SS' definition: a) a moron, a complete buffoon, someone whose existence is of no great significance to mankind b) someone who acts in a twatish manner.

I came into contact with both of these in the last 2 days. Yesterday I went with Jemma (who is neither a dog or a twat) to her local supermarket store. There were dogs plum in the centre of the entrance doors. Prostitutionally dressed? Tick. Enough make-up to fill the River Avon? Tick.

Today I ventured fearfully into the Bath Xmas Market. I knew it was the last day of the market so I should have expected the worst. Its fine if people bump into me and then apologize. Fair enough. Of the 10+ times I felt physical contact today not 1 "Oh I'm sorry!"

If anything they look as if you offended them by standing in the same place as you were previously. To top off a very wet shop 2 middle aged laptop wankers tried to push in front of me in the queue for the bus.

I stood my ground to then hear them cattily complain behind my back. After alerting them to their less than punctual arrival in the queue they ceased crying like 8 year old girls.

And its only December 11th! Merry bloody Christmas...

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