The most eagerly awaited blog since blogs began..maybe not.

First off a recap of last weekend. Following a frantic day at my unmentionable place of employment I met up with an ever-so-slightly inebriated Mr. Watkins and Mr. K. Signs of what was to come included Mr. Watkins chasing me with a trolley and making Mr. K his bitch for the evening. Mr. K and I have learnt our lesson: ensure at all costs that Watkins has no access to alcohol while in our presence, even for medicinal purposes.

Sunday morning I woke up at the crack of dawn so as to catch a train to London where I was to watch the mighty Arsenal take on the illustrious Italians Inter Milan at football. As a result of attending the game with a photographer I can, in the vein of all tabloid newspapers, show you these exclusive pictures:

The first game we watched was Paris St. Germain (France) v Valencia (Spanish) which was noticeable for the marked difference in pre-match training of the clubs. Valencia's players were putting a lot of effort in and looked every inch a professional team. In stark comparison PSG spent most of the pre-match period relaxing and soaking in the atmosphere of the grass! A few pint glasses and cigarette ends would not have looked out of place..

Despite this, PSG were comfortable 3-0 victors. This was followed by Arsenal heroically turning around a 1 goal deficit to win 2-1. The money grabbing teams in the Premiership are already micturating on their rugs in fear..

Resulting from what was a rather long day I was very fatigued come Monday. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not had a schedule to follow. This included watching the cinematographic productions 'Transformers' and 'Simpsons' at Longwell Green's Vue Complex. My judgements admittedly might have been marred by the tiredness, but I felt there was a little to be desired from both efforts.

Firstly Transformers: if a film is going to be in excess of two hours then there needs to be some substance. Alas there was little. Transformers the cartoon featured the robots prominently and humans as secondary characters. The strength of the transformers characters was a major part of its success. It comes as a surprise then that this films version gives the human characters the lead parts in the story and neglects the robots. Its as if the public hasn't seen a film with a smartarse kid and a breasty young woman in before. On that note onto the 'Simpsons': like other critics have said its the equivalent of three episodes. Not enough of Monty Burns and too much emphasis on pleasing the popcorn eaters with a weak plot. Don't waste your money.

In between the two films I went ten-pin bowling with my two comrades Mr. Uzele and the Yid. It is not unreasonable to state that a coma patient would have thrown with more alertness and enthusiasm then I did.

The rest of my week has been pretty quiet, punctuated with trips to the gymnasium and swimming pool. Last night I accompanied Mr. K to the Dolphin for a beverage or two.

This was after consuming one of the delectable 'Minister' pies that one can acquire from Chelsea Rd. I will reveal more about these delicious works of art and which ones I endorse at a later date. This is all for the time being. Till next time..