tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71939536751778445152024-03-06T00:07:09.986+00:00Simon SaysFeed the Goat and he will blog. goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.comBlogger208125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-8702933829694949612013-12-04T21:51:00.001+00:002013-12-04T21:51:35.888+00:00Well hidey hi!"Lethargic" they said. "Lazy" they called him. "Blog-shy" - the list is endless. But..........................<br />
He's back!<br />
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You read 'Simon Says' dear viewers at a festive time of year. I'm sure it is the same with you: Christmas lights, cheerful shoppers, and goodwill aplenty. Cheerful and goodwill would be pushing it fine on a fiery, cluttered afternoon in the Bath Xmas Market.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJQ2OT7ApqTC1VVKwCMpx7kzKdlpRD14UlWRIWbbIlj7F2XIf-jmpNWdab1Tk7zvv3lfYAQYjbfNTVXTG-o8Gkh_8qZT1zyALeP1FjaP6eevn-dXKyxCdwGU4GndbytM1kSx1rup0NoWc/s1600/bath_xmas_market_6_dec_2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJQ2OT7ApqTC1VVKwCMpx7kzKdlpRD14UlWRIWbbIlj7F2XIf-jmpNWdab1Tk7zvv3lfYAQYjbfNTVXTG-o8Gkh_8qZT1zyALeP1FjaP6eevn-dXKyxCdwGU4GndbytM1kSx1rup0NoWc/s320/bath_xmas_market_6_dec_2013.jpg" /></a><br />
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Looks all cosy and seasonally appropriate doesn't it? Don't be fooled. There's only one safe way to enter the centre of Bath in December.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEEzDEei5tZGQjFUZKTELlDRrnrTObBl89fA2aMgm972VDMDEPGvxULcjy2TS1b5Kgu0KAN-iKk8n_vaisPwNpYvIXj7SkEgsIv3B24cBGnOOCfPjgMRGw5GjxVy0rrQ-jam_XlAeHzps/s1600/esg_kh_96_testudo_007.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEEzDEei5tZGQjFUZKTELlDRrnrTObBl89fA2aMgm972VDMDEPGvxULcjy2TS1b5Kgu0KAN-iKk8n_vaisPwNpYvIXj7SkEgsIv3B24cBGnOOCfPjgMRGw5GjxVy0rrQ-jam_XlAeHzps/s320/esg_kh_96_testudo_007.jpg" /></a><br />
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Sadly though I do not have a legion or cohort at my disposal so I venture into the City by stealth.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJOQlft_sbWb_BPO26RTbwdPouERhU6TLWNsMInG1WbseyozPg4RxaTQ4ToZpZ7-f04xqLGIy5eE1ml64Y5vPW4WwqkpEquuGxHAVTqo80axDQCpiZS5Mf0vMTz2FvzH5PrkJZ8UMD_No/s1600/goldeneye1.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJOQlft_sbWb_BPO26RTbwdPouERhU6TLWNsMInG1WbseyozPg4RxaTQ4ToZpZ7-f04xqLGIy5eE1ml64Y5vPW4WwqkpEquuGxHAVTqo80axDQCpiZS5Mf0vMTz2FvzH5PrkJZ8UMD_No/s320/goldeneye1.jpg" /></a><br />
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Gladly I will be safely tucked away in the gym on Saturday so will be far from the madding crowd. Bah Humbug!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx4QQXt9YT9DDzMmgyVxXWASj-5bJ_Jleq0WKwBvqyZpoRFjyFMK9IO5n-FKScEuEqM4RImCW4eb4AptAv8lCM8zDoiRN45EFphOCLTJKlphVDvQJF-syuS7CJjBcgwdZSvVeqbxPD27c/s1600/scrooge1.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx4QQXt9YT9DDzMmgyVxXWASj-5bJ_Jleq0WKwBvqyZpoRFjyFMK9IO5n-FKScEuEqM4RImCW4eb4AptAv8lCM8zDoiRN45EFphOCLTJKlphVDvQJF-syuS7CJjBcgwdZSvVeqbxPD27c/s320/scrooge1.jpg" /></a><br />
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goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-4004307023250065162013-09-30T23:21:00.000+01:002013-09-30T23:21:25.746+01:00The Rules of the Game.For those of you hoping to glean invaluable tips from a seasoned Pick-up Artist stop reading now. I am no Casanova and this is not a Shagger's Guide.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gQjCpq-TQB3l5aFfVUU5ihmQ66ltQaflpQ5c40yqsg7TkGBemBCod5wMEDstSx0pRPjZGLYmQ-1UpKYUGDPqBn2jSXOsp3MF9cWrSbMfXRda9PG1l1AquFBd5nMj6B_kQrEv0DSBEWY/s1600/631598.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gQjCpq-TQB3l5aFfVUU5ihmQ66ltQaflpQ5c40yqsg7TkGBemBCod5wMEDstSx0pRPjZGLYmQ-1UpKYUGDPqBn2jSXOsp3MF9cWrSbMfXRda9PG1l1AquFBd5nMj6B_kQrEv0DSBEWY/s320/631598.jpg" /></a><br />
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By game of course I mean football - the beautiful game.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqhFFEzvnLgpzgg0-gk4TnigY6iaVSTjbpzRSy572G4n-7ApcVS-6Uy4g-KWlB9_2-XmeRGRZxDN38j_FOjL-G2_dmkbu5mlLHt9Gx3fQ8P_Vq54spIJWLm35yaV6GefKVbGH3Kxe9txg/s1600/091116174014-743-82.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqhFFEzvnLgpzgg0-gk4TnigY6iaVSTjbpzRSy572G4n-7ApcVS-6Uy4g-KWlB9_2-XmeRGRZxDN38j_FOjL-G2_dmkbu5mlLHt9Gx3fQ8P_Vq54spIJWLm35yaV6GefKVbGH3Kxe9txg/s320/091116174014-743-82.jpg" /></a><br />
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Football abides by many different rules. Some simple, some not. For every "Each team must only have 11 men on the pitch at once" there is an "Offside is when a player is active and beyond the last defender as the ball is played."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbe1ZhqBXhHs0gY8C6hpAe77ZQZQsMRLyaOwUk6egNpWz1DWqnL3E48T3xVN761bYbwEUSmH6uGgxubjIxryfFQ7cHdbBwcQbxjHRAWmE1Xsi-gTZ9MSL4IQX-GEmE29lSm9YTc9ij5E/s1600/104293358_display_image.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbe1ZhqBXhHs0gY8C6hpAe77ZQZQsMRLyaOwUk6egNpWz1DWqnL3E48T3xVN761bYbwEUSmH6uGgxubjIxryfFQ7cHdbBwcQbxjHRAWmE1Xsi-gTZ9MSL4IQX-GEmE29lSm9YTc9ij5E/s320/104293358_display_image.jpg" /></a><br />
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There is one rule that is both simple and bemusing at the same time. This rule states that Arsenal, Leeds United and Bath City football clubs are to be incapable of winning on the same footballing weekend. This goes back to the very inception of the game, and all the greats at the 3 clubs were well aware of this stipulation and abided by it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_Kuo9-cxhEAv-OCYP3iO6M56MqfXkwybAuubjS6pnXzCVWHf8cIDrM2acxSiFkb2llW8PxldmSkCvNJTWk9JsZscmU7steiBbnCBEdc5eo1udAH9nNJZLFRd9rpSaLOH1ypEasCccA0/s1600/Billy-Bremner-and-Leeds-Manager-Don-Revie_1256693.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_Kuo9-cxhEAv-OCYP3iO6M56MqfXkwybAuubjS6pnXzCVWHf8cIDrM2acxSiFkb2llW8PxldmSkCvNJTWk9JsZscmU7steiBbnCBEdc5eo1udAH9nNJZLFRd9rpSaLOH1ypEasCccA0/s320/Billy-Bremner-and-Leeds-Manager-Don-Revie_1256693.jpg" /></a><br />
<i>Billy Bremner and Don Revie find out Bath City have a virtual bye against Dover and Arsenal are playing Crystal Palace that afternoon.</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQwOtTs1SrIz1WJ-a5bS9rIF28_MGoflOLuocrEH5oPvBgmxqbpPeUix_x3wrl7-hVpyaQqkYWN4nV3hOwOvU9Cx6B7ERoOSiYU6I_XAEEndqhGJSDfE5fiHXBWfdf3lCfRW4VexXvcp4/s1600/binladen-arsenal.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQwOtTs1SrIz1WJ-a5bS9rIF28_MGoflOLuocrEH5oPvBgmxqbpPeUix_x3wrl7-hVpyaQqkYWN4nV3hOwOvU9Cx6B7ERoOSiYU6I_XAEEndqhGJSDfE5fiHXBWfdf3lCfRW4VexXvcp4/s320/binladen-arsenal.jpg" /></a><br />
<i>Arsenal legend and literal munitions expert Osama Bin Laden went as far as planning a terrorist attack on Twerton Park and Elland Road to put an end to "The Rule".</i> <br />
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A rumour yet to be substantiated is that the delay in the CIA finding and killing Bin Laden was due to Rupert Murdoch's request that he be allowed to total Leeds United's ground first.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd-CpKKK_eeN2Ok55FoETuJps14QmPWddIkMX-jzS2N7LSwM_lR1kEBO6owX8JdWetH3TbOeI2xQm990NpqpZW9Tdm1Z71Mlfam5EoXfKck7AaLXUX4f6ZtEqG0S529tveqCVd12XcyUQ/s1600/avatars-000016194935-8vfpn8-crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd-CpKKK_eeN2Ok55FoETuJps14QmPWddIkMX-jzS2N7LSwM_lR1kEBO6owX8JdWetH3TbOeI2xQm990NpqpZW9Tdm1Z71Mlfam5EoXfKck7AaLXUX4f6ZtEqG0S529tveqCVd12XcyUQ/s320/avatars-000016194935-8vfpn8-crop.jpg" /></a><br />
<i>Bath City's Jim Rollo with a more pragmatic way of dealing with his fate.</i> <br />
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No matter what rung of the football ladder players and managers at these clubs find themselves on, all of them are indelibly tied to the Rules of the Game.<br />
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goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-70039002200210961582013-09-24T12:43:00.001+01:002013-09-24T12:43:58.506+01:00They're baaaack... <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaNcvedj1wTmX2efI4P142erlNA4DHu1J3CXuKlZxx60pIU42nVz8w5GNC5UqltXZE9XO3uKjxCaXsW4eE0fGqrrTt-2L_-xpQxLc84vrAJR90GHY6IU7YAm37aZurSewv2ZU2N_qgJaI/s1600/Freddy_Krueger.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaNcvedj1wTmX2efI4P142erlNA4DHu1J3CXuKlZxx60pIU42nVz8w5GNC5UqltXZE9XO3uKjxCaXsW4eE0fGqrrTt-2L_-xpQxLc84vrAJR90GHY6IU7YAm37aZurSewv2ZU2N_qgJaI/s320/Freddy_Krueger.JPG" /></a><br />
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Seagulls? Cyclists? Plague-carrying rodents? No. <b>STUDENTS<i></i></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsJPtOYSujHFmT4935tGpzd_2kAIMvu0WP0iWCXiZpvNPJahvatwmjSVR4bFPaAejAc9TizOvRvw7Qb503epb7yCNFwYfTy-ykhDljsHDPbqWx_QOAG68fD9LDqMmZ_9fM1l3u3_EKSj0/s1600/fa01e4811fdec79a95cff7b0883d10e1.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsJPtOYSujHFmT4935tGpzd_2kAIMvu0WP0iWCXiZpvNPJahvatwmjSVR4bFPaAejAc9TizOvRvw7Qb503epb7yCNFwYfTy-ykhDljsHDPbqWx_QOAG68fD9LDqMmZ_9fM1l3u3_EKSj0/s320/fa01e4811fdec79a95cff7b0883d10e1.jpg" /></a><br />
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Everywhere: in the streets, in the shops, on the grass. Literally sprawled on the ground or standing stationary looking around themselves with the airy demeanour of a bunch of primates. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNAGccgUO3IkH29NI8l9bqv6ESP1Zlr76n8EPnmoU9G5-fFqQNUMOHm0K9Ekm9htJ5LZvfyUOwgxeW6JhMvb7ks3Mq0JFZtsDkBx2h1S4qmRERjVHK4wHahpx-jCrLq4m9clElTsOxZ0/s1600/images+(3).jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNAGccgUO3IkH29NI8l9bqv6ESP1Zlr76n8EPnmoU9G5-fFqQNUMOHm0K9Ekm9htJ5LZvfyUOwgxeW6JhMvb7ks3Mq0JFZtsDkBx2h1S4qmRERjVHK4wHahpx-jCrLq4m9clElTsOxZ0/s320/images+(3).jpg" /></a><br />
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Its that lack of basic manners and intelligence that infuriates the working men (and women) who go about their business in the quaint city of Bath. The taxpayer doesn't subsidize their fees so they can spend their time walking around in a daze planning the next binge-drinking orgy. <br />
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Obviously not all students fall into this retarded hedonism, but the majority do. Basic good behaviour doesn't cost anything. Perhaps that's why they find it so repellent. <br />
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Anything that doesn't require them to 'max' out their credit cards isn't worth the hassle. May be a shock when they wake up one day and find we don't think they're worth the hassle.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpzJpZzOKP3DuAAm94aIuBvvs4QVhi06AQjMYBZdC-giHNXX-ffBf7xqYy0S8bzWvAUEKks5wooFS82u5PYSFsQUK23tuKSy6-M0Kj9yY7RwaHsk_faDfjtoyl_HN_QNnbzs119P2oas/s1600/fees_492621a.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpzJpZzOKP3DuAAm94aIuBvvs4QVhi06AQjMYBZdC-giHNXX-ffBf7xqYy0S8bzWvAUEKks5wooFS82u5PYSFsQUK23tuKSy6-M0Kj9yY7RwaHsk_faDfjtoyl_HN_QNnbzs119P2oas/s320/fees_492621a.jpg" /></a> <br />
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goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-13351063308459639872013-09-09T00:38:00.000+01:002013-09-09T00:38:50.194+01:00Özil, the North and the Grim Reaper.Quite a lot has happened in the last week. It all began on Monday with a trip to Leeds to spend a few days with my sister Ruth. We travelled down on Transfer Deadline Day - a day normally associated with Arsenal fans up and down the country attaching nooses to wooden beams and preparing for the worst. The Samaritans clearly got in touch with Arsene Wenger...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwj7dKo3bI-Xfy0twTtz8jURJrrBKo0xQsz3IvcXTqFXaenUIBU4aCJ8j0GJpAqxdhNdrhvoVJOssV0MPDtFmH6Wn0XbY3hg8VrqGoF2glKoDWjsYH5FVdYO1LJqvi3GxVDpu4oxMjok/s1600/mesut-ozil-home-shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwj7dKo3bI-Xfy0twTtz8jURJrrBKo0xQsz3IvcXTqFXaenUIBU4aCJ8j0GJpAqxdhNdrhvoVJOssV0MPDtFmH6Wn0XbY3hg8VrqGoF2glKoDWjsYH5FVdYO1LJqvi3GxVDpu4oxMjok/s320/mesut-ozil-home-shirt.jpg" /></a><br />
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In an Özil-related post-orgasmic daze I accompanied Ruth into Leeds to visit the Royal Armouries. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixFIVOt9xcMdUUpvDjDONhvwb6UejEyziYBJ6OWU2oAxd7OIOy34W159MmxnoeWhadkoqgghlPRmM6ejHL5K1dI27pyO-BtxlPS5AePG2rrBUgwssLrxo_FAP2rZV5tswKTUxBIicGcWY/s1600/DSCN1582.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixFIVOt9xcMdUUpvDjDONhvwb6UejEyziYBJ6OWU2oAxd7OIOy34W159MmxnoeWhadkoqgghlPRmM6ejHL5K1dI27pyO-BtxlPS5AePG2rrBUgwssLrxo_FAP2rZV5tswKTUxBIicGcWY/s320/DSCN1582.JPG" /></a><br />
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Full to the brim with weapons and many other historical titbits, the Armouries kept us happily entranced for a few hours.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCc7pdZCgU08rwJWjDFout-missDq_-4ND9ujTuyV9yhS0N2dnUk0MIc92mFit2hszPppeQTnCi1kbkVxYXH2D4Lqop5LyKLmhM8DnlgVMlMheGwpzB4mAlvkhv1j_Q4zqWzlaMBUW6Bk/s1600/DSCN1591.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCc7pdZCgU08rwJWjDFout-missDq_-4ND9ujTuyV9yhS0N2dnUk0MIc92mFit2hszPppeQTnCi1kbkVxYXH2D4Lqop5LyKLmhM8DnlgVMlMheGwpzB4mAlvkhv1j_Q4zqWzlaMBUW6Bk/s320/DSCN1591.JPG" /></a><br />
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That evening we visited an Italian restaurant where my dinner and I had a stand-off to see who would eat who. I won in the end. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUj7o5skndsaS7Jf3smULgtcJg8TyD4qAIBO9OxIfJ84iZvtIj1v5lZ4RCy0ObQgoN9pCC2nTYyVjpBlnwVgJJPTkTPtEjC8DVTqSoP1fx7CxTTdFtpOiC5fJfiPeBmrTDQpOsUAtnzlk/s1600/DSCN1596.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUj7o5skndsaS7Jf3smULgtcJg8TyD4qAIBO9OxIfJ84iZvtIj1v5lZ4RCy0ObQgoN9pCC2nTYyVjpBlnwVgJJPTkTPtEjC8DVTqSoP1fx7CxTTdFtpOiC5fJfiPeBmrTDQpOsUAtnzlk/s320/DSCN1596.JPG" /></a><br />
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The following day we met up with some old friends and went on a trip to Bolton Abbey.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5OrFOQKtHhB3ohJrLroet_yvipRLl93tEg3aLWTu_RRljjkL3o5Ta4UyA5QkgYEcb5FQIRrJHvvaYSrTdGASbwJt4ZpLh0GyEPuAEqCoyUZ7MK28ZIiEzeZeJ6f-Ry-yBGahNj5H9tm0/s1600/DSCN1601.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5OrFOQKtHhB3ohJrLroet_yvipRLl93tEg3aLWTu_RRljjkL3o5Ta4UyA5QkgYEcb5FQIRrJHvvaYSrTdGASbwJt4ZpLh0GyEPuAEqCoyUZ7MK28ZIiEzeZeJ6f-Ry-yBGahNj5H9tm0/s320/DSCN1601.JPG" /></a><br />
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Feeling rather conquered by our friends' offspring we mustered the energy to visit the beautiful city of York. To a history nerd like me, it was manna from heaven. <br />
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It had a medieval house...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg35_MPiMVCnPTOuG7FNMFjQN3MrBixt_FqvoVqKna2yEvt8fRrWJyZLdUW6raxooXmDgK1rGOLuRyzTxpHSaqrtNO2xqtzH_WMfN0FEUdiinFS3FFTPPQq6QaihB0bXiiOtXEsFNWVqmw/s1600/DSCN1604.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg35_MPiMVCnPTOuG7FNMFjQN3MrBixt_FqvoVqKna2yEvt8fRrWJyZLdUW6raxooXmDgK1rGOLuRyzTxpHSaqrtNO2xqtzH_WMfN0FEUdiinFS3FFTPPQq6QaihB0bXiiOtXEsFNWVqmw/s320/DSCN1604.JPG" /></a><br />
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Someone to help you if you caught the Plague...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhps3sXLnM7h2tLgN0hoowedyyRUDj38TYF7TC-NaulaoCMe9R5xl7-lggz9aa6re91ytdyFtaelwYYYm6wM_ijAuWHXnClAMk8B9MxMy_54hiwbCaiAx6QXuS96DTGX2ki0OBywqp2Me0/s1600/DSCN1610.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhps3sXLnM7h2tLgN0hoowedyyRUDj38TYF7TC-NaulaoCMe9R5xl7-lggz9aa6re91ytdyFtaelwYYYm6wM_ijAuWHXnClAMk8B9MxMy_54hiwbCaiAx6QXuS96DTGX2ki0OBywqp2Me0/s320/DSCN1610.JPG" /></a><br />
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An excellent reconstruction of Viking York or 'Norvic'...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6C_-veq9J73cvuQmAB1SrUh0ALskHmVwYbia7wPnWh1fKYfuGzncyOjq12NVkHbgzCRtQPbGjpxs0NaFmutB7bbIFO-vjsQExVCd0ZsoguR83EbkLbtDoqzHWmOf0b_TovWv6mkKwEQY/s1600/DSCN1612.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6C_-veq9J73cvuQmAB1SrUh0ALskHmVwYbia7wPnWh1fKYfuGzncyOjq12NVkHbgzCRtQPbGjpxs0NaFmutB7bbIFO-vjsQExVCd0ZsoguR83EbkLbtDoqzHWmOf0b_TovWv6mkKwEQY/s320/DSCN1612.JPG" /></a><br />
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And my favourite street in the U.K...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTodCwFu8ohEQ5QtD6LSR5gS6-obd__KHn6A_82md0kbvtyl0dqZJLEZbKj7noxUCDwCTNW_aL63k7UAZ-hJG15Ot1O8eIwsssKeUITgWO32kqHUcixv-S7ybyBV7a8aKG03oRFT6ktVM/s1600/DSCN1617.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTodCwFu8ohEQ5QtD6LSR5gS6-obd__KHn6A_82md0kbvtyl0dqZJLEZbKj7noxUCDwCTNW_aL63k7UAZ-hJG15Ot1O8eIwsssKeUITgWO32kqHUcixv-S7ybyBV7a8aKG03oRFT6ktVM/s320/DSCN1617.JPG" /></a><br />
<br />
The last day of a cracking week up North included Ruth conjuring up a sensational cooked breakfast, a Krispy Kreme donut and the obligatory trip to the home of Northern football...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixCw4aqobH413WeKA8ifACpk7rx631iaUVahz0Yj3B-z47YAPppaHz9P-owpZ7JzcnvLYeAik-_NUN5dnqK5hn8Z9Ovxj2JpVCf4YjI4ZMKIil5Hr12fX41oUfjm6otjBDHLoj75JszXM/s1600/DSCN1618.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixCw4aqobH413WeKA8ifACpk7rx631iaUVahz0Yj3B-z47YAPppaHz9P-owpZ7JzcnvLYeAik-_NUN5dnqK5hn8Z9Ovxj2JpVCf4YjI4ZMKIil5Hr12fX41oUfjm6otjBDHLoj75JszXM/s320/DSCN1618.JPG" /></a>goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-73211170549357584602013-08-21T20:17:00.001+01:002013-08-21T20:17:22.142+01:00Stuffed Turkey or Istanbulshit? The mighty (or not so mighty) Arsenal are currently crossing swords with Fenerbahce of Turkey. Lots has been made of the club's lack of expenditure. Do we have any money? Is the manager senile? Questions like these will be plaguing many a Gooner.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgpM-_nxWqJDjnMGA8_NSgQ8lyPRG7dbVeAUPRxQ-EK6yRiTblVQ536DGbziJJ27U_guiljDRfd8WhROdhZNRapenBGzBK9odmRB4jKZ3z4FQUv4UYsixFgqWS5XWjAa4-lAPEXcZ2sjI/s1600/arsene_wenger_1215196c.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgpM-_nxWqJDjnMGA8_NSgQ8lyPRG7dbVeAUPRxQ-EK6yRiTblVQ536DGbziJJ27U_guiljDRfd8WhROdhZNRapenBGzBK9odmRB4jKZ3z4FQUv4UYsixFgqWS5XWjAa4-lAPEXcZ2sjI/s320/arsene_wenger_1215196c.jpg" /></a><br />
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With under 2 weeks before the transfer deadline and the 2 legs of a very important Champions League qualifier in the offing, the pressure mounts on the sometimes skeletal Arsene Wenger. <br />
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Amidst the hysteria and vulture-like sharpening of talons from the press, I have devised an escape route and most importantly breathing space for Arsenal's underfire custodian. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7T72ybv2RNqkyFwpuXOUt8Io5PNnA_DJTjQlqx22ZX_2AZdA-1Yx4jGb-QS2LVFlZzVMH76OFqcKnRTr08S7ecFdhFbIYJrGXTtdbCxfclo2yC-ID-lmzjGRkiWXX58f4sKzfUG-obs/s1600/auschwitz-tl.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7T72ybv2RNqkyFwpuXOUt8Io5PNnA_DJTjQlqx22ZX_2AZdA-1Yx4jGb-QS2LVFlZzVMH76OFqcKnRTr08S7ecFdhFbIYJrGXTtdbCxfclo2yC-ID-lmzjGRkiWXX58f4sKzfUG-obs/s320/auschwitz-tl.jpg" /></a><br />
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The escape takes the form of 3 vital steps:<br />
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1) Navigate past Fenerbahce into the cashcow of the greed-ridden Champions League.<br />
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2) Recruit personnel to strengthen the team (in layman's terms - SPEND SOME FUCKING MONEY!).<br />
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3) Probably the toughest ask - defeat close rivals Tottenham Hotspurs 2 days before the transfer deadline.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnwJgNju8L07cZLMl0LNtrK5JSHnB5hZr4TmayXWX825Cauc6xNkCR3za008D_f6JqSB9xqAX7A4i-pmZnRRuzySyp_zIekzQLypVfWV2QNdkAjs3nwTesM9GmP0HZeHRNzVfhC-1EmSY/s1600/meerkat.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnwJgNju8L07cZLMl0LNtrK5JSHnB5hZr4TmayXWX825Cauc6xNkCR3za008D_f6JqSB9xqAX7A4i-pmZnRRuzySyp_zIekzQLypVfWV2QNdkAjs3nwTesM9GmP0HZeHRNzVfhC-1EmSY/s320/meerkat.jpg" /></a>goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-87303335142731951322013-08-12T01:08:00.000+01:002013-08-12T01:08:05.234+01:00Compulsive ViewingSaturday night I joined Mr. Kitson and Watkins for what I thought would be Sheppy's and dinner at Kitson's residence (not for much longer).<br />
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Shortly after I arrived Watkins abducted us (think alien abduction, not janitor/schoolchild) and whisked us away to his house in the country. Châteaux Watkins is a bit like Narnia - there are always BBQs and its never Christmas.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOLohzUVwCQSuD58rm3803sWA2hLN6CcepGGIx7RbZvFYCeYjjFsUlZtaMi-BTB2Z1KBJ6RwLYq87hCm5AIhJpvzHHyJiOID1Wr8MUt58vPOPR2CGrGfOsuvx7DWZk-CstBUfg4QHdN9g/s1600/Narnia-the-chronicles-of-narnia-17323219-1639-1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOLohzUVwCQSuD58rm3803sWA2hLN6CcepGGIx7RbZvFYCeYjjFsUlZtaMi-BTB2Z1KBJ6RwLYq87hCm5AIhJpvzHHyJiOID1Wr8MUt58vPOPR2CGrGfOsuvx7DWZk-CstBUfg4QHdN9g/s320/Narnia-the-chronicles-of-narnia-17323219-1639-1024.jpg" /></a><br />
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That's not strictly true. Saturday we didn't have a BBQ. We ordered an Indian takeaway from somewhere near Mr. Kitson's home-to-be. <br />
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It seems he's already made a big impression in the area. A polite waiter informed us our orders would be ready in 20 minutes. Mr. Kitson gave him a steely glare and 5 minutes later our curries were passed to us in a servantile manner.<br />
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Its not in my nature to throw around baseless accusations like "Mafia" at trusted friends, but I did hear the waiter muttering "Its an honour Professor Chaos." as we walked out. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyrI59MOgX5duzIPLyC2lQ7vZYwfB3lqGtwvFLUjQKUO8C3GK-jFlLJe1rYSoC6OqFzsZhF0joYvCWRo6fz7KG2p4GkwTGS358HuklH1_DqAHQv9v1yrlAsA1lEKoesc0tLVIG0KaMqcg/s1600/professor-chaos.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyrI59MOgX5duzIPLyC2lQ7vZYwfB3lqGtwvFLUjQKUO8C3GK-jFlLJe1rYSoC6OqFzsZhF0joYvCWRo6fz7KG2p4GkwTGS358HuklH1_DqAHQv9v1yrlAsA1lEKoesc0tLVIG0KaMqcg/s320/professor-chaos.jpg" /></a><br />
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After eating our takeaways and sampling some delights from Mr. Watkins' bakery, we watched 'Extreme OCD Camp'.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0DX4e4Nc0Rle0InqTJuFoQpQ0YlHvhpSJWo7ZbFSEKdwgURJyXXomP905nDcAbT8H1BkOoWV05_u5cXzkPL4O2wxib3WIC08tsLFflb872bgIwGYgeDz9s66p4vqms5PB0ilA7Lr1J-k/s1600/993635_554814731250393_1717525305_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0DX4e4Nc0Rle0InqTJuFoQpQ0YlHvhpSJWo7ZbFSEKdwgURJyXXomP905nDcAbT8H1BkOoWV05_u5cXzkPL4O2wxib3WIC08tsLFflb872bgIwGYgeDz9s66p4vqms5PB0ilA7Lr1J-k/s320/993635_554814731250393_1717525305_n.jpg" /></a><br />
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I don't usually have time for reality television as it seems to be a cross between exploitation and an unhealthy obsession for fame. <br />
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OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Camp had its share of unhealthy obsession, but instead of Simon Cowelling humans for money, the programme made you understand OCD a little better and root for the people in the show as they fought against the bizarre habits they didn't seem able to control. <br />
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goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-26026331857356201042013-08-10T16:08:00.000+01:002013-08-10T16:08:37.949+01:00What Really Grinds My Gears<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb2YOJj05xv3e3TUojrDx91jT6hQXquCd0y5T6JAPfrhkP0VtiUDXqo722GS7ryimIlACWAU4fb-KmpjxLs5KQGvFA6dZO5Tpw_-0N_waZ7O97bSj7Xd0g8q8acfek4_0jge1ReSSyKsc/s1600/what-grinds-my-gears.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb2YOJj05xv3e3TUojrDx91jT6hQXquCd0y5T6JAPfrhkP0VtiUDXqo722GS7ryimIlACWAU4fb-KmpjxLs5KQGvFA6dZO5Tpw_-0N_waZ7O97bSj7Xd0g8q8acfek4_0jge1ReSSyKsc/s320/what-grinds-my-gears.jpg" /></a><br />
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Seagulls? The weather? Arsenal's mental handicap that renders them unable to spend money? No. What really grinds my gears is cyclists. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYB43Ch-8-MeJQv4FG3BpNn0fYrqc6Xz6Eq9Lzoir9gjZMDUmFh_6iSn1JrJS5ZIgCkfurBG72rRXwimWc9c-Hm4ELFs_MYwsFI1IkXBnWHS_aIpQk8Gn0M8bRNS8dAq9jDyzoI7-tMCU/s1600/gs-ET-ON-BIKE.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYB43Ch-8-MeJQv4FG3BpNn0fYrqc6Xz6Eq9Lzoir9gjZMDUmFh_6iSn1JrJS5ZIgCkfurBG72rRXwimWc9c-Hm4ELFs_MYwsFI1IkXBnWHS_aIpQk8Gn0M8bRNS8dAq9jDyzoI7-tMCU/s320/gs-ET-ON-BIKE.jpg" /></a><br />
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There are so many of the bastards on the streets of Bath right now that the City looks more like this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-ihWSTfginwjlwsn-odCSWnXPZgh6SNfhSdhoMB_1ZWlSjlVdz26tCrUYp-tY2_SMGZLCPWzC4jMAGFfVElBtaOwtUReEG1O-b6gMOHdx_6VQoXjHlwYcI6FxyB9O3WIEQ1QcvW4lBuo/s1600/tour-de-france.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-ihWSTfginwjlwsn-odCSWnXPZgh6SNfhSdhoMB_1ZWlSjlVdz26tCrUYp-tY2_SMGZLCPWzC4jMAGFfVElBtaOwtUReEG1O-b6gMOHdx_6VQoXjHlwYcI6FxyB9O3WIEQ1QcvW4lBuo/s320/tour-de-france.jpg" /></a><br />
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My ire was stirred for the first time a few months ago. I was walking peacefully along the pavement and being a gentleman moved to the side to allow a fellow pedestrian room to pass by. I had seen an oncoming cyclist in the corner of my eye, but knew I was safe as he was on the road and I was on the pavement.<br />
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Being a cyclist though this simple and safe logic was beyond his comprehension. He decided that there wasn't enough room on the otherwise empty road so he would slam into the side of my body to make some more.<br />
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Being a pacifist I calmly laughed mockingly at his claim that I needed to fornicate myself. <br />
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I have noticed since that cyclists ride on the pavement with little or no thanks for the fearful manner in which peace-keepers like myself hurl themselves out of their way. Pedestrian footbridge? No fuck you its a "Cycle Bridge". The pavement? No fuck you its a "Cycle Path". What next?! Front door? No fuck you its a "Cycle Space".<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL2rSxMJTV7YUrC4TcVV806o3QayPfGurlBKTwBW_RAEULavM4WA9K0mBm_DSxQgMcuBVyc5G5maWvJY2GqdR8CQHL4BxHpJCqJaFZqzArk6IU7YIxgM2d9oIeYRli4qNHLi5lcMXTQCY/s1600/Boris+Johnson+Arnold+Schwarzenegger+Boris+h3hA0ES9dm2l.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL2rSxMJTV7YUrC4TcVV806o3QayPfGurlBKTwBW_RAEULavM4WA9K0mBm_DSxQgMcuBVyc5G5maWvJY2GqdR8CQHL4BxHpJCqJaFZqzArk6IU7YIxgM2d9oIeYRli4qNHLi5lcMXTQCY/s320/Boris+Johnson+Arnold+Schwarzenegger+Boris+h3hA0ES9dm2l.jpg" /></a><br />
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goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-14266370304433438892013-08-04T23:43:00.000+01:002013-08-04T23:52:58.009+01:00Neapolitan Like You Early on Saturday morning I made my way to Bath Railway Station to start a long day which would see me visit Stadium Emirates - home of Walmart Football Club. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif9j3rvXns7V2iaoznyxt1OpnwmxekmNvYbrtYZpi69iotHloMbty7UKL6FBX2Hkiu6frmp4__7rPe-5ySmlDU8cNfp5OqMzOkTAHZQtie1m3X3pt0NEkCYWBsgkNoVXt61kfxbpAhPuA/s1600/DSCN1579.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif9j3rvXns7V2iaoznyxt1OpnwmxekmNvYbrtYZpi69iotHloMbty7UKL6FBX2Hkiu6frmp4__7rPe-5ySmlDU8cNfp5OqMzOkTAHZQtie1m3X3pt0NEkCYWBsgkNoVXt61kfxbpAhPuA/s320/DSCN1579.JPG" /></a><br />
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I had paid money to Walmart to watch the team in action. Mr. Walmart must be happy as thousands of other fans also put money into his pockets.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMT7lqRauG76OyIhOMfNOe6t60Y0UfGANDnCCbEEo-M2jJxVujEQBlVgMQl7qhncZXq2Ijiu-QXvaR44hNypobzvKn2gLyFK_v29bOnt1IWRxbO3I8N7tc7DNr7zBBP-msmYyFInMe5gs/s1600/StanKroenke_468x6511.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMT7lqRauG76OyIhOMfNOe6t60Y0UfGANDnCCbEEo-M2jJxVujEQBlVgMQl7qhncZXq2Ijiu-QXvaR44hNypobzvKn2gLyFK_v29bOnt1IWRxbO3I8N7tc7DNr7zBBP-msmYyFInMe5gs/s320/StanKroenke_468x6511.jpg" /></a><br />
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The Underground is a useful means of getting around London. When its working. I can only presume that on Saturday there were minor hiccups preventing it from running smoothly.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdrlLB7_SnUYEpQSG18obtWIs_NCeJDXz9ham13wgO_O_yeG1UrHdtTUGW_NlY1KU1Fi4PSvco5BHDdvJPll_jGabRIucWLwLE3qXxxlguq-bUp6koss307SfnuYTzhvqEubBNhe8naT4/s1600/r18636_45953.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdrlLB7_SnUYEpQSG18obtWIs_NCeJDXz9ham13wgO_O_yeG1UrHdtTUGW_NlY1KU1Fi4PSvco5BHDdvJPll_jGabRIucWLwLE3qXxxlguq-bUp6koss307SfnuYTzhvqEubBNhe8naT4/s320/r18636_45953.jpg" /></a><br />
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Getting off at Highbury & Islington left me with the dilemma of how to kill time till the late afternoon kickoff. I decided upon traipsing around Islington to locate a trusty Starbucks to refuel and have some lunch. <br />
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Thankfully I made it there safely without being cut in half by one of the 5 Galatasary fans who travelled all the way from their kebab shop on Holloway Road.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggSDencnxdiTO6P44mrVe3CwFDa0BY9aEsFwLlEsLEXZhyphenhyphennMDQnHL8PZkQA1FDPWz_FEQgdr9ro7oVJduxxAsm5KLywH2VuNzr7-_UlpfaWbjvqhZ5ccQudONkMhg9vR-TwCvmixZ1mAE/s1600/supporters-galatasaray-12-mars-2013-lors-8e-finale-retour-ligue-champions-contre-schalke-04-1245653-616x380.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggSDencnxdiTO6P44mrVe3CwFDa0BY9aEsFwLlEsLEXZhyphenhyphennMDQnHL8PZkQA1FDPWz_FEQgdr9ro7oVJduxxAsm5KLywH2VuNzr7-_UlpfaWbjvqhZ5ccQudONkMhg9vR-TwCvmixZ1mAE/s320/supporters-galatasaray-12-mars-2013-lors-8e-finale-retour-ligue-champions-contre-schalke-04-1245653-616x380.jpg" /></a><br />
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On a serious note Galatasary fans are the most loathsome and despicable bunch of supporters in world sport. April 2000: Galatasary fans murdered Leeds' fans Christopher Lofthouse and Kevin Speight (Rest In Peace). <br />
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A Fenerbahce fan also lost his life as recently as this May as a result of their evil fanbase. Arsenal Football Club let itself down badly by inviting the Istanbul club to its ground. <br />
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It was, contrary to weather forecasts, hot and sunburny at the Emirates. The Walmart players looked like the heat got to them too. Our guests from Naples generously showed us how to score goals and went 2-0 up with Marek Hamsik pulling all the strings.<br />
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Ruh-roh! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivzn_SaVfIDLsLm9kmqkZP3UCf0z2Ep4Ax2QYcX9GIGR99GKUS0wEOzhNKl4VPowRd6HmCZjIjPXMf0ls9WVUdRYSrxKU4gPlh5AijbAX1z3wfynpS9DwBtmxWakR6q2JGF25sfPn7XMU/s1600/scoobydoo3z.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivzn_SaVfIDLsLm9kmqkZP3UCf0z2Ep4Ax2QYcX9GIGR99GKUS0wEOzhNKl4VPowRd6HmCZjIjPXMf0ls9WVUdRYSrxKU4gPlh5AijbAX1z3wfynpS9DwBtmxWakR6q2JGF25sfPn7XMU/s320/scoobydoo3z.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
Thankfully Arsene Wenger jibber-jabbered something in French, Napoli stopped giving the slightest shit and the Walmart scored some goals. 2-2. <br />
<br />
It was still hot. If the tube situation was annoying pre-match it was unbelievable afterwards..<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0zZeMAl_8R35zvIESGo1k0X-Kx6TeSd0yZ28OEAF571f1Gn8aP2J2WplPZUIUwfowohxN61THeWBeOe_NlpxadS0fJo6bta6dKBa2TdyYuiRNNoDSuQYO2f_tLOGweU9YgHh2u7UD-R4/s1600/p008twbx.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0zZeMAl_8R35zvIESGo1k0X-Kx6TeSd0yZ28OEAF571f1Gn8aP2J2WplPZUIUwfowohxN61THeWBeOe_NlpxadS0fJo6bta6dKBa2TdyYuiRNNoDSuQYO2f_tLOGweU9YgHh2u7UD-R4/s320/p008twbx.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
By that time I was both tired and grumpy. And ill. A few years later I found myself at Paddington station. <br />
<br />
With 2 hours before my return journey I chanced my arm and cheekily asked if I could board an earlier train. I was told I could but that the Station Dobermans would shortly be removing me by my testicles. I calmly withdrew my request.<br />
<br />
The eventual train ride home became quite pleasant after Reading station. Most of a busy carriage departed leaving me to drink my smuggled bottle of Sheppys in peace and quiet. goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-60573289103231175852013-07-28T23:08:00.002+01:002013-07-29T00:47:29.412+01:00Taking on the system.Having read and heard about Julian Assange and Edward Snowden in the media, I was aware of individuals who fought bravely against the big machine, but that was as far as it went.<br />
<br />
As of this weekend I can say I had my own brush with tyranny. A giant of the blogging world - you could say a Starbucks or Waterstones - has posted the most slanderous rendition of the events of Saturday evening just gone.<br />
<br />
Like a loveable old codger going through similar tough times I am considering legal action...<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR8Kfs5oGI2ehnd9CzcApDz_0P1AJQ6bDN58yHdZyNp-qpJOUnApgUdXtyhTFPLbq37tK8eCuTdyXSp5tRWh3zczdsCG9i3d7m9sKh0HNAwdU-cDDk_7TybxnD3zFkLpEkz7CyswwgUQk/s1600/1911488.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR8Kfs5oGI2ehnd9CzcApDz_0P1AJQ6bDN58yHdZyNp-qpJOUnApgUdXtyhTFPLbq37tK8eCuTdyXSp5tRWh3zczdsCG9i3d7m9sKh0HNAwdU-cDDk_7TybxnD3zFkLpEkz7CyswwgUQk/s320/1911488.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
I won't bore you with the gory details, but suffice to say the incident involved a plateful of chicken, a knife and fork and the digestive system that time forgot. Or to be precise - the digestive system that forgot time.<br />
<br />
In the story of Rip Van Winkle, he falls asleep and wakes up 20 years later. After sitting down for a meal with Watkins, the Yid and Kitson at Nandos, a similar passage of time elapsed before we left the table.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX008alTxCBK-jPkuvJ6qVmqsGkPR4xM0lH1COkMNJ-dsJnwIY_peHR7eY8vXe0PWGBYDEoCjjcLhR1jRiO4j9-pmgxVL27HZ2JENWG8I4OL6Fgdthsu9l9Ap3Wz4qPK7ha2ydiuJlIoM/s1600/ripvan-pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX008alTxCBK-jPkuvJ6qVmqsGkPR4xM0lH1COkMNJ-dsJnwIY_peHR7eY8vXe0PWGBYDEoCjjcLhR1jRiO4j9-pmgxVL27HZ2JENWG8I4OL6Fgdthsu9l9Ap3Wz4qPK7ha2ydiuJlIoM/s320/ripvan-pic.jpg" /></a> <br />
<br />
The libellous account of that evening doing the rounds on the internet ignores a basic principle of law: eyewitnesses. There were 2. Plus me. I am the small bookshop on the corner, the humble coffee shop making a living against a wealthy Superchain. <br />
<br />
It is in this spirit of the little guy fighting against the odds that I set things straight and pass judgement on the deception that has spread like napalm. I leave the final word to the judge....<br />
<br />
<b>BULLSHIT!</b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzGjK_S3S8x5v9PZj46-dgWZMe8mxKC1cbAuQwZlasMgG-DTutqmNNOPLvaglB7egW6UApDShoZD-zxB8LpXWqj5LV-N2sabHzlz_SbsuIyrytg-xCfUuQhRl75mCKoZWADpBvmE4qZ_A/s1600/tumblr_lsmopyg3P91qz5deto1_r1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzGjK_S3S8x5v9PZj46-dgWZMe8mxKC1cbAuQwZlasMgG-DTutqmNNOPLvaglB7egW6UApDShoZD-zxB8LpXWqj5LV-N2sabHzlz_SbsuIyrytg-xCfUuQhRl75mCKoZWADpBvmE4qZ_A/s320/tumblr_lsmopyg3P91qz5deto1_r1_1280.png" /></a>goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-37831944822513934452013-07-25T15:47:00.000+01:002013-07-25T15:47:04.354+01:00Always Look on the Bright Side of ArsenalMoney money money in the rich man's world. Abba's words sum up Arsenal quite well at present. <br />
<br />
Having shown thrift that Scrooge would have admired in recent years, the club is finally shaking of its shackles like some sedated Ogre and whipping into its greedily guarded treasure chest. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixMYtqWLtnAd24fqU6XTKadF0s57OTcldGWPxpYju8OyWAv-tdj8k7vAYLjjRAK-cxrH4zjm7WLaM8I16_MY4WZm8RNQLjvTl3kv1Dnm2Fd4y2wZUMWSApPai8JhNtylKsUvDz5iqgpQM/s1600/Shrek-the-Ogre.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixMYtqWLtnAd24fqU6XTKadF0s57OTcldGWPxpYju8OyWAv-tdj8k7vAYLjjRAK-cxrH4zjm7WLaM8I16_MY4WZm8RNQLjvTl3kv1Dnm2Fd4y2wZUMWSApPai8JhNtylKsUvDz5iqgpQM/s320/Shrek-the-Ogre.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
£40 million pounds Sterling, oh yes and a pound, for the services of a disreputable Uruguayan by the name of Luis Suarez.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcSXS8dxJgyECH9_nwOBJ-53qmioWLS5cHyOBCQ_1FNMOam_xAGixB5hR767gkh6NXmjJJRGjnU6LIdAlxQIIo92KUIH4XattdMX2ZPWvWQBYP_M0etkYYoOvD0g6gmR2h1ZN698jOdGY/s1600/images+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcSXS8dxJgyECH9_nwOBJ-53qmioWLS5cHyOBCQ_1FNMOam_xAGixB5hR767gkh6NXmjJJRGjnU6LIdAlxQIIo92KUIH4XattdMX2ZPWvWQBYP_M0etkYYoOvD0g6gmR2h1ZN698jOdGY/s320/images+(2).jpg" /></a> <br />
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Were this Chelsea, Manchester City or some other club used to throwing notes around like in the Crystal Dome, then the situation would be very familiar.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVCiWHJsn1BTTG_fML7X9yOPHKkYD82yrgK7sPGECiQE2WG4GHTIDX3l9o9PAShwQpbS2lq7p-nsjW71vB52vEyR5NaPBX7i3em3qNTX8HP71j0Yn3lUvLckLxb543VvzdsO5oKIhPRcE/s1600/CM_support.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVCiWHJsn1BTTG_fML7X9yOPHKkYD82yrgK7sPGECiQE2WG4GHTIDX3l9o9PAShwQpbS2lq7p-nsjW71vB52vEyR5NaPBX7i3em3qNTX8HP71j0Yn3lUvLckLxb543VvzdsO5oKIhPRcE/s320/CM_support.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
Biff, Bang, Wallop, How's your father and Suarez is holding up a shirt of the club and posing for photographs. <br />
<br />
Its not though, its Arsenal. There's 'Old Money', 'New Money' and now there's Old Money trying to spend New Money. <br />
<br />
That is us in a nutshell. Its not our world. And being Arsenal, its not even simple amongst the native fans. A world class player? Here?!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhESgtCF2ciGdcYuw_GORExFbXOyybw1YnJvY0XDv22zOku-eUajPMW2dTm37R_4N3nTX_WQxFUpODo1iVGU_CspzmHB_YQ4guYcgJVn_MXySYWFYLYgTYRTfgyushuo12iETcDpcScxUk/s1600/League-of-Gentlemen.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhESgtCF2ciGdcYuw_GORExFbXOyybw1YnJvY0XDv22zOku-eUajPMW2dTm37R_4N3nTX_WQxFUpODo1iVGU_CspzmHB_YQ4guYcgJVn_MXySYWFYLYgTYRTfgyushuo12iETcDpcScxUk/s320/League-of-Gentlemen.jpg" /></a><br />
goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-38960872306064946342013-07-23T02:09:00.001+01:002013-07-23T02:09:57.296+01:00The Seven SealsTo an outsider or tourist Bath looks like a charming, picturesque City totally at peace with itself and those who walk its streets. Or is it..? After hearing harrowing and foreboding tales of a City in turmoil I looked into the claims. <br />
<br />
The results of my thorough study of ancient scrolls disturbed me greatly, but in the tradition of Japanese students in horror films I felt it was only right that I share them with you. <br />
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So here, authentic and clearly written about 21st century Bath are the Seven Seals...<br />
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1) "And yay, there shall be an unpleasant host of aerial bigamists that shall haunt thy city for what seemeth like 4 score and 20 years. There shall be no rest from these winged vermin and the screeching and nashing of thy teeth and much complaining shall follow."<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm5Ui9S6tUFb5doS4gtxIsBewknQKx-0eGfJw67K6RF9ppjBj_-r8vJCcXG8vCygf4jintOvME7d5HtMnBUiVi3yeTYLv32Mub1X6TrxuynLBGx4loE0SQ0jzrKV3wIHA3BhQw7cBZaas/s1600/finding_nemo_seagulls_sydney_harbour.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm5Ui9S6tUFb5doS4gtxIsBewknQKx-0eGfJw67K6RF9ppjBj_-r8vJCcXG8vCygf4jintOvME7d5HtMnBUiVi3yeTYLv32Mub1X6TrxuynLBGx4loE0SQ0jzrKV3wIHA3BhQw7cBZaas/s320/finding_nemo_seagulls_sydney_harbour.jpg" /></a></div><br />
2) "A second plague, unseen by the righteous, shall descend upon thy walls like a very isolated flood. These ants of the earth shall rise up like dragons and fly in an manner that doth pester thee greatly."<br />
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3) "The third seal taketh the form of loud noises that keepeth thee from thy slumber. Loud clanging of symbols and clashing of drums shall be a curse especially on thy citizens that haileth from the Orient."<br />
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4) "The sun shall shineth like an ball from the depths of Hades and all shall wilt and moan greatly at the warm summer they previously doth covet."<br />
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5) "An shop of loweth esteem shall find its way onto thine streets. And lo it shall bring much cursing and displeasure."<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9q_5endEwwDt1HBQskEnmkXbAFJKj7L47M3ep-W_KArkQWy1Emdl7AWRLTiPhKuAfLt5Aob8OdyhUu1JNVllwzuaEWqrCjYCT7j8nR9_UpkVrXCbwcStb_-4qkspngKUqVpSVM6XqCLk/s1600/3,Primark-at-Boscombe,IMG_1897_210908.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9q_5endEwwDt1HBQskEnmkXbAFJKj7L47M3ep-W_KArkQWy1Emdl7AWRLTiPhKuAfLt5Aob8OdyhUu1JNVllwzuaEWqrCjYCT7j8nR9_UpkVrXCbwcStb_-4qkspngKUqVpSVM6XqCLk/s320/3,Primark-at-Boscombe,IMG_1897_210908.jpg" /></a></div><br />
6) "A man of the sheep shall make his path into thine sporting establishment and cause much grief and rage in thy taverns."<br />
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7) "The birth of an demon child on an day when the sun doth shine increasingly bright shalleth be the seventh and final seal of thy destruction."<br />
goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-41864534661898429942012-09-17T00:52:00.000+01:002012-09-17T00:52:38.584+01:00Sign inIf such a thing as technological DNA exists then I believe we have handed ours to the world wide web for keeps.<br />
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The internet is constantly looking for ways to gather information about all of us. Social network sites, trading websites - be it financial or personal information very little evades the all singing, all dancing spider web that links so many of us to people all over the world.<br />
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"Oh bloody hell! He's off on one of his conspiracy rants again.." You think. There's nothing necessarily insidious about the web though. The stockpiling of data is a result, not necessarily the deliberate intention. <br />
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The Web is a bit like the Roman Empire. As Monty Python's 'The Life of Brian' facetiously asks: "What have the Romans done for us?" Of course the list is long, but the death and devastation left by their many conquests is likewise considerable.<br />
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Obviously the Internet hasn't been directly responsible for lives lost. It is comparable though in that both have facilitated considerable advancement of the human civilization while eroding valuable freedoms (privacy, speech).<br />
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"So its ok then? Well what's the point of this shit?" You say. The very same point of the world wide web - advancement. Your advancement. Try and imagine a life less dictated to by the internet. <br />
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No, don't cut yourself off from civilization and live in a cage - not unless you have body odour problems. There is so much of the world that has pre-dated our modern age though and will carry on till the world stops spinning. Nature, physical evidence of our history, face-to-face communication for example. Rediscover it, and yourself - step out of the matrix.goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-76892829481643033332012-08-26T02:08:00.001+01:002012-08-26T02:08:26.584+01:00Words on canvasNostalgia is denial, denial of the painful present.<br />
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goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-33000031087979835332012-07-25T23:59:00.000+01:002012-07-25T23:59:00.488+01:00The Anger GamesThe hot topic on everyone's lips at the moment seems to be the Olympics. We're all deciding whether we give the slightest shit about it or not.<br />
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I think it'll be interesting mainly to see which countries haven't fallen out with each other by the end. The games haven't even technically started yet and already North Korea has thrown a strop with Scotland and South Korea over the latter's flag flying high over Hampden Park where their ladies were playing football.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjULxvwxSltOqiHzSYGj36QAGAdSm728LKzS-b0Yc7QGYscIG96-IuIOHUytWgVanAVQb0IKQwrOLUEYk2vkuTGC76do1iOjSjg1Pqal5jA2ayPNmJCyjoh2ySra1iathhL1SjOib04gvM/s1600/south-korea-flag.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="217" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjULxvwxSltOqiHzSYGj36QAGAdSm728LKzS-b0Yc7QGYscIG96-IuIOHUytWgVanAVQb0IKQwrOLUEYk2vkuTGC76do1iOjSjg1Pqal5jA2ayPNmJCyjoh2ySra1iathhL1SjOib04gvM/s320/south-korea-flag.png" /></a></div><br />
Presumably Kim-Jong Un doesn't see the need for a foreign relations minister as one worth their salt would've told him that the last place you want to kick off is Glasgow. "Your nuclear weapons won't wash here pal. What do you think we wear under our kilts?"<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjspSEypi2JY0oFcv7mqYL98jjuuaDY3KBzltjDuHH0go5tCPueYxXlMG6ky4OJNisTVbo8WSaN1FJ7-ouo6XN3cYickHfjWCUTx7lVZqOlTv5HfdWdQcWyx5QAlB2xZ0CTrGfK1yn3mT8/s1600/whatunder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjspSEypi2JY0oFcv7mqYL98jjuuaDY3KBzltjDuHH0go5tCPueYxXlMG6ky4OJNisTVbo8WSaN1FJ7-ouo6XN3cYickHfjWCUTx7lVZqOlTv5HfdWdQcWyx5QAlB2xZ0CTrGfK1yn3mT8/s320/whatunder.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Other feisty tête-a-têtes include America v Russia/China, Israel v the rest of the Middle East, and England v pretty much all of Europe. This might go some way to explaining why London looks like Berlin circa 1939 at the moment.<br />
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But perhaps the most volatile factor of all is the ever present possibility that Mayor of London Boris Johnson might make comments of a: racist, xenophobic, sectarian, Islamophobic or sexist, (delete as applicable) nature. <br />
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And that to me is the perfect justification for flooding the capital with troops, anti-aircraft missiles and a sea of snipers. The troops as protection from some pissed off countries and the snipers to take out Boris. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4W-Hlcz0Wo0pmE3uF5qtRSmKIDUAS1Swbjtu7LCl_EbdLFWnttv_Cuz79EWJpYpcZE0v6x0Kvznff7t5uk5V4CdjwnTNSAuyhmuGbUEB2p_kvZCcl5B0FKAUJM_aXanfcxSBfi0xgocY/s1600/57257_max.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="311" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4W-Hlcz0Wo0pmE3uF5qtRSmKIDUAS1Swbjtu7LCl_EbdLFWnttv_Cuz79EWJpYpcZE0v6x0Kvznff7t5uk5V4CdjwnTNSAuyhmuGbUEB2p_kvZCcl5B0FKAUJM_aXanfcxSBfi0xgocY/s320/57257_max.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<br />goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-30029958048511427982012-06-07T00:47:00.000+01:002012-06-07T00:47:26.516+01:00Birthday Boy! Part 2On the Friday I continued my birthday celebrations with a trip to the Forest of Dean to 'Go Ape'.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghWp6s-4mmPU3ezaQCZFda1G0lt4ZdNN1sthRkZ4H5IXYS1jdnrG5rnqA3K8nOEuEmBkjcs5Mib2Mi5w6yEsPhWJVzZ3Qx0wDvCeQGeyDUjmPLTTBfluvdtzUigdHjdEQEcJhuYI04dyo/s1600/GoApe1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="217" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghWp6s-4mmPU3ezaQCZFda1G0lt4ZdNN1sthRkZ4H5IXYS1jdnrG5rnqA3K8nOEuEmBkjcs5Mib2Mi5w6yEsPhWJVzZ3Qx0wDvCeQGeyDUjmPLTTBfluvdtzUigdHjdEQEcJhuYI04dyo/s320/GoApe1.jpg" /></a><br />
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As was standard for the week we managed to miss one journey on public transport. We still managed to get to the site on time and were soon strapped into our harnesses and ready to go.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgISfXf2W2UWyXIowVd-_FEK4q3Px4zcT3Lp3_u7WZ6cVPnV7MOscslsZw8ZQiSViBamycNmKH9JQwtGa-ijohg-fYCIQx-irp7_0-GXNDpmfYzzJ8jWCE8i2-gVMSxOonHIHEoRhK_kHg/s1600/DSCN1487.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgISfXf2W2UWyXIowVd-_FEK4q3Px4zcT3Lp3_u7WZ6cVPnV7MOscslsZw8ZQiSViBamycNmKH9JQwtGa-ijohg-fYCIQx-irp7_0-GXNDpmfYzzJ8jWCE8i2-gVMSxOonHIHEoRhK_kHg/s320/DSCN1487.JPG" /></a><br />
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Before we set off I worried I might have to give Jemma a hand around the course. It didn't take long to find out that, like Mowgli, Jemma had been raised by animals in the jungle and was hopping across tightropes as though she was born on them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDCR6HSoQy-OjPNkhCL9nsXatKXvXoGF28v8neutl64Ap58vqblJnI82QLRqJCMOnQw2Q_1v-32bKF5Phr2HpU8-y5cehzqg1FFoWkpFS9x6vjuRHJfY474MIABDphWSjQYQkoS5URuaU/s1600/DSCN1488.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDCR6HSoQy-OjPNkhCL9nsXatKXvXoGF28v8neutl64Ap58vqblJnI82QLRqJCMOnQw2Q_1v-32bKF5Phr2HpU8-y5cehzqg1FFoWkpFS9x6vjuRHJfY474MIABDphWSjQYQkoS5URuaU/s320/DSCN1488.JPG" /></a><br />
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In stark contrast the altitude got to me and I started doing impressions of the old Budweiser advert. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAOPKgIEaCkdHe9qiUitfuM9wjWgGqyJuqjWTNMj-n2e-c-YnCP4izq9IiFeupUBTeAYmSdCe7HAx3OxxTX_wJ_whVlYr9DsCOXonMbB_zzfF83xWNpC-fWnKR7BmY8Tv7NWc1Xye4hA/s1600/GoingApe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAOPKgIEaCkdHe9qiUitfuM9wjWgGqyJuqjWTNMj-n2e-c-YnCP4izq9IiFeupUBTeAYmSdCe7HAx3OxxTX_wJ_whVlYr9DsCOXonMbB_zzfF83xWNpC-fWnKR7BmY8Tv7NWc1Xye4hA/s320/GoingApe.jpg" /></a><br />
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The Zip Wires were amazing, and on the highest one we were gliding over treetops. The terror of the jump off the platform turned into euphoria after I realised that I wasn't going to a) die b) wet myself c) sob "Mummy!" d) perform all of the above in reverse order.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmH5YjJIqGeiX0wen-SspqsqTNkOcS6MeqAZCt-58OR5g241ssCHpJGvvS5tId6sbYvn74ib5jFLcmobAF8hAT6B7kC8dqSGQKF9ymkGoF3YeMA_16Z9Da1OW-lGT1vd2w_Roov2Uz6Vs/s1600/GoApe2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmH5YjJIqGeiX0wen-SspqsqTNkOcS6MeqAZCt-58OR5g241ssCHpJGvvS5tId6sbYvn74ib5jFLcmobAF8hAT6B7kC8dqSGQKF9ymkGoF3YeMA_16Z9Da1OW-lGT1vd2w_Roov2Uz6Vs/s320/GoApe2.jpg" /></a><br />
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Despite some hairy moments removing my testicles from the harness we made it through the course in one piece.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5zePpTPY-XPMHrNf22-fkuSkn8SbTIXhi2Frou4TnutixQLfWFNKjatPa_c6keDleVXYQlgSQtGKzNwKRQHuZcpn2VHR9n3Ix5ebBnBuLvbRQZSnjiRlesrTwJX8Hy4ekXkiwF-Zt2s/s1600/KissingApe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5zePpTPY-XPMHrNf22-fkuSkn8SbTIXhi2Frou4TnutixQLfWFNKjatPa_c6keDleVXYQlgSQtGKzNwKRQHuZcpn2VHR9n3Ix5ebBnBuLvbRQZSnjiRlesrTwJX8Hy4ekXkiwF-Zt2s/s320/KissingApe.jpg" /></a><br />
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After more fun and games getting out of Lydney, we survived the war-torn streets of Newport and even had a nice Birthday dinner at a Welsh Wetherspoons. When we were seated comfortably on the train to Bath Jemma and I literally had the icing on the cake. We ate the cake too...<br />
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It was an excellent birthday and a special thank-you to Jemma for planning my Legends' Tour and for resisting her natural instinct to unclip my carabiner and send me hurtling to the forest floor.<br />
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<br />goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-43275245696943970932012-06-07T00:06:00.002+01:002012-06-07T00:06:33.422+01:00Birthday Boy! Part 1What a birthday! So much has happened that I shall split my exploits into sections. 'Oooh - how organised Goatman!' <br />
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1. The Mystery Tour.<br />
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Miss Goatman sprung a surprise on me when she whisked me away in the early hours of Wednesday morning to a faraway place. We arrived in London, had a lovely McDonalds breakfast and then Jemma led me to our destination..<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9jTs2CCRu3gCLJr6F5dUyyoxd-_Bv0EiDwhCvdeYabtRtQVOdLRVWqbDsVtMYCzcfbfx6Wz5EGF9iy3tM9cqk8jYXqSxvBb9-yyBtN1q0RHY8hGQGVfNAN_ZK03tO4T4N7ME_CoyWtcs/s1600/003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9jTs2CCRu3gCLJr6F5dUyyoxd-_Bv0EiDwhCvdeYabtRtQVOdLRVWqbDsVtMYCzcfbfx6Wz5EGF9iy3tM9cqk8jYXqSxvBb9-yyBtN1q0RHY8hGQGVfNAN_ZK03tO4T4N7ME_CoyWtcs/s320/003.JPG" /></a><br />
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The Emirates Stadium! My better half didn't do things in halves either. She had arranged a Legends Tour for me with none other than cheeky chappy and the original 'King of Highbury' - Charlie George. <br />
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Everyone who knows Arsenal knows Charlie George. Scorer of the winning goal in the 1971 F.A. Cup Final against a team I can't think of at the moment...<br />
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Oh wait a minute I remember!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBjr_fKj_O_Kcqe7sR12MZ8rNvU12vNwTLqBIG8jVdVdnq8tHg5V2ZUErumZwaaTuRd73dywb82h0MAky-M0tPlIGAQjDsdQqrG8QlVerp8BX9YJfI7b2K1VsWXk4pEeVTCYn0nuX3t4/s1600/019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBjr_fKj_O_Kcqe7sR12MZ8rNvU12vNwTLqBIG8jVdVdnq8tHg5V2ZUErumZwaaTuRd73dywb82h0MAky-M0tPlIGAQjDsdQqrG8QlVerp8BX9YJfI7b2K1VsWXk4pEeVTCYn0nuX3t4/s320/019.JPG" /></a><br />
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I enjoyed seeing inside the director's box and the changing rooms, but after walking around on a warm day I needed a sit down as I was starting to feel "stuck in the middle Djourou..."<br />
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A great day despite missing our coach home and having to evade a terrorist attack. This consisted of the criminal feigning drunken unconsciousness and holding up at least 3 terminals at Victoria Coach Station. <br />
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I'll never forget meeting Charlie. Still the main man - sign him up Arsene!<br />
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<br />goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-6351461893068864622012-05-08T14:18:00.002+01:002012-05-13T02:10:22.763+01:00Weakened WeekendSaturday morning I woke early for work with that sprightly feeling after a good night's sleep. Odd seeing as I had less than 6 hours. That was as good as it got.<br />
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The last hour and a half of my shift was excrement. People were very impatient. To worsen matters I got off 15 minutes late - not happening again. Then after fighting my way through hordes of disgusting proles in town I waited half an hour for a bus that was 20 minutes late.<br />
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When I got home I did the sensible thing and went to bed. Even though it was early afternoon I realised that my consciousness had not worked to that point so hedged my bets and went to sleep.<br />
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I was up in time to watch a bit of the F.A. Cup final. A mostly dour affair as part of Chelsea's tactics are to dull their opponents into submission. Andy Carroll was the hi-light. The first time he's looked like the player he was at Newcastle since his move.<br />
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The evening consisted of helping Mr. Kitson place pins in Voodoo cushions of Newcastle United players. I threatened to snare some of Kitson's allotted Sheppy's but he wasn't having any of it.goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-89737913146089214062012-04-17T00:35:00.005+01:002012-04-17T00:38:39.586+01:00Might as well be David Cameron<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwja4iEj0EPMMsFiXgTqvyQ5vF648NMoCO27I4VIdvnbr7e-pC6pzy565ptACTmhM2KDjcXL_mKqnEskLRTHRkFglopkn3OCEpFszI__LXLVXXQmlUD229wH-n6jzyQCqtHS6JB4qWEcU/s1600/same-shit-different-asshole.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 265px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwja4iEj0EPMMsFiXgTqvyQ5vF648NMoCO27I4VIdvnbr7e-pC6pzy565ptACTmhM2KDjcXL_mKqnEskLRTHRkFglopkn3OCEpFszI__LXLVXXQmlUD229wH-n6jzyQCqtHS6JB4qWEcU/s320/same-shit-different-asshole.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5732146726560276242" /></a>goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-80058960671413159542012-04-10T01:55:00.004+01:002012-04-10T02:09:00.424+01:00Bob LoblawI decided to withdraw my challenge to Mr. Watkins' crown of least regular blog in the world and make a reappearance.<br /><br />Bits and pieces have happened since the beginning of March. Hobart came out of his lavish and comfortable hole in the capital to bring back memories of old times.<br />You'll be glad to know though that no Watkinses were harmed in the course of that afternoon. <br /><br />In the sports world Arsenal have picked up a bit of form at the right time of the season. It has seen them win against Spurs, Newcastle, AC Milan, Man City and Liverpool in the space of 2 months.<br /><br />I went for a day's outing to Wells where Jemma and I walked down 'Vicar's Close' - the oldest residential road in Europe. We noticed that Wells buskers all seemed to be very musical. Not sure whether that had any bearing on most of the locals looking stoned.<br /><br />I also gave a debut to my new tennis racquet against Jemma at Sydney Gardens.<br />Accusations were made of mobile phones being kept in pockets for the purpose of checking football results. No evidence was found though..goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-29381314673001527482012-03-05T20:24:00.006+00:002012-03-05T20:39:19.647+00:00Don't go to this supermarket. Its a shithole.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWrOmg9xeMsAps2tCNHufGSe-MGgIieuUbeZThBCZgH7R5xT-tuFWVrdvDbl3o1sF-I0t3ycueI3sKFDKxDk1TI8XtDK5ngDZoCoQZO_Znj9GfNaBWNlDzXOw5D_W18dU8UAguMmQGNxc/s1600/shithole.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWrOmg9xeMsAps2tCNHufGSe-MGgIieuUbeZThBCZgH7R5xT-tuFWVrdvDbl3o1sF-I0t3ycueI3sKFDKxDk1TI8XtDK5ngDZoCoQZO_Znj9GfNaBWNlDzXOw5D_W18dU8UAguMmQGNxc/s320/shithole.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5716513154968103778" /></a><br />This is the entrance to an example of the worst supermarket chain in the country. Sainsbury's. Does it ever have any stock in? No. Are the staff motivated? No. Are the customers treated well? No.<br /><br />Are the staff lazy? Yes. Are they workshy and heavily reluctant to talk to customers? Yes. Are the facilities (public toilets etc) in shocking condition? Yes. Should you avoid this teeming pile of excrement like the plague? Yes.<br /><br />Today I visited the 2 major stores in my city. I went with the expectation of the newly released 'Game of Thrones' being available as it went on sale today.<br /><br />Neither store had any copies. What a fucking joke. If I can stop anyone from shopping at these cesspits then I will be ecstatic. Tescos, Morrisons, Waitrose, Asda and Co-op, hell even Lidl's are all better supermarkets without the stench of disability rife in them. <br /><br />Don't shop at Sainsbury's.goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-64993110540881049522012-02-23T22:58:00.008+00:002012-02-23T23:14:01.556+00:00Evil never sleeps.Hades Lord of the Underworld, Professor Moriarty, Lex Luthor, Adolf Hitler and Rupert Murdoch. All the physical embodiments of Nemesis - that which dishes out divine retribution. One's bete noir.<br /><br />I encountered my nemesis the other evening. The one being on the face of this earth that fills me with unfathomable dread. <br /><br />I had just crossed over a bridge not far from home and there he was. Lurking on the path with hateful menace.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsBr3_0g9ohUFoDy7jWCkgIrjISdrzMPaov37CBI6dos12GK9FN2SEOWzIL1r3yN6X5vSkn6W8F0FQUIQDsK3WrMaQ37aT8VqZLLcQUB4HqbADYSL01bKQZjuhAzNf8qYqzffmfEqe5iY/s1600/shit.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsBr3_0g9ohUFoDy7jWCkgIrjISdrzMPaov37CBI6dos12GK9FN2SEOWzIL1r3yN6X5vSkn6W8F0FQUIQDsK3WrMaQ37aT8VqZLLcQUB4HqbADYSL01bKQZjuhAzNf8qYqzffmfEqe5iY/s320/shit.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712471573819662786" /></a><br />Fortunately I had my wits about me and managed to escape his clutches..for now.. But forewarned is forearmed. Now I know the conditions are right for the vermin's habitat I will be vigilant and wary. Wary like Howard Webb is of Taggart's tackle...goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-47613612174053711982012-02-08T00:05:00.006+00:002012-02-08T00:48:56.852+00:00Peaks and troughsI remember learning in some of my studies as a young naive ragamuffin that there are 3 types of receptiveness. You are likely to take things in visually or aurally (and no, that would have to be spelt "orally" for cock munching jokes to be relevant). <br /><br />Pointless and spuriously linked bit of information over, it occurred to me recently that the quality of new films at the cinema and series on TV seems to fluctuate in droves. <br /><br />In the last 2 months "Super 8", "Senna" and "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" have all come out on dvd. In the cinema now there is "Warhorse".<br /><br />In the next few months the brilliant "Boardwalk Empire" and "Game of Thrones" 2nd series will be released on dvd. At the moment "The Only Way is Essex" and "Geordie Shore" are on TV. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLpsMJvXDQFJt4t8iEj-pBXo4kWZLy4cKP9i6LuiTQYgMUPG7ad7hyphenhyphenHZhmSUMVwC85RtHzI7o8XtiqPPq06k4-aDkseyRW9WVzvyR6CA0CLGyohFdky5mrM5tg0OGvHyyHGrNc1sJDzgc/s1600/1323703580-nucky.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLpsMJvXDQFJt4t8iEj-pBXo4kWZLy4cKP9i6LuiTQYgMUPG7ad7hyphenhyphenHZhmSUMVwC85RtHzI7o8XtiqPPq06k4-aDkseyRW9WVzvyR6CA0CLGyohFdky5mrM5tg0OGvHyyHGrNc1sJDzgc/s320/1323703580-nucky.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706559571709911186" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd5U9B2U1hcHDyeHy0eVWSYUz06XpsdbRz-_vFA7DydFD9TFk7zkbvUddjBeiutzTrdf3JSJeK51IaAcVlMoVGXv5X4iDy2K40v63yKprzSnhwKGcRGM8a5QvuRvT0AC2HyPp5ZbE4AzY/s1600/011911_game_of_thrones_teaser_2_t.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd5U9B2U1hcHDyeHy0eVWSYUz06XpsdbRz-_vFA7DydFD9TFk7zkbvUddjBeiutzTrdf3JSJeK51IaAcVlMoVGXv5X4iDy2K40v63yKprzSnhwKGcRGM8a5QvuRvT0AC2HyPp5ZbE4AzY/s320/011911_game_of_thrones_teaser_2_t.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706559361509587458" /></a><br />Beginning to see the pattern? For every spellbinding cinematic creation there has to be some mindbendingly monstrous stream of steaming turd. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq-kUhFvvmQmwzoB5Tqdu_ovrXIHnz8XdypluLo_ZAUvrmfkekcxoehAvWkJQA6ZdXWyvJ2txw-WfT7_qSm0Sn_g5YfuvKQ7RGeSO02g_gwCG6rNFhA2Qt0TcuMgMCcZw9paMyylwzTI0/s1600/article-1324921-0B99E6DF000005DC-492_468x333.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 228px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq-kUhFvvmQmwzoB5Tqdu_ovrXIHnz8XdypluLo_ZAUvrmfkekcxoehAvWkJQA6ZdXWyvJ2txw-WfT7_qSm0Sn_g5YfuvKQ7RGeSO02g_gwCG6rNFhA2Qt0TcuMgMCcZw9paMyylwzTI0/s320/article-1324921-0B99E6DF000005DC-492_468x333.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706559116362553890" /></a>goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-72924033985597702572012-02-02T01:50:00.003+00:002012-02-02T02:05:44.190+00:00In My Bad BooksI like reading the way most people like money, their friends and chocolate. In other words I can't get enough of books.<br /><br />I pay visits to our local library on occasion, and on the last few times I have found a large selection of new books by my favourite authors loaned out.<br /><br />This is starting to become a regular occurrence and vexes me greatly. While browsing the library catalogue the thought that most often enters my mind is "Bring back the books you greedy bastards."<br /><br />It surprised me only a little that my taste in literature would appear to have become popular. I'm sure this is the case and that its not like in 'Fight Club' where I am too tired to realise I am going to the library, hiring books out, and then making sure the other me cannot find them.<br /><br />I can't rule that out completely though as I do not ask librarians the whereabouts of these books. Though it is entirely plausible that Tyler Simon has bribed/frightened the librarians into silence. <br /><br />I've not yet conceived a plan to discover and outfox TS, but in the event that I can outwit him and procure the aforementioned reading material I will sigh a big sigh of relief and put your minds at rest with a hearty "Yahoo" on this blog.<br /><br />While typing I have been handed a bottle of tablets by a kind elderly gentleman in a white jacket. Hopefully this will help me on my search..goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-46537092852566130872012-01-25T01:05:00.004+00:002012-01-25T01:12:26.504+00:00Top 5...Pet Hates<br /><br />1) People who you stop for so they can go by and they don't even acknowledge that you've been unselfish.<br /><br />2) People who try and jump queues.<br /><br />3) Women who use prams like battering rams.<br /> <br />4) Jock students who act like they own the planet, talk loudly and don't get out of the bleedin' way.<br /><br />5) People who aren't your friends and act like they know you. I call them "cunts" for short.goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7193953675177844515.post-69507511954787817272012-01-19T23:41:00.003+00:002012-01-19T23:55:24.824+00:00Goggle-eyedYesterday I went swimming at the Sports Centre. Due to repair work the changing rooms had been er..changed! For one day only the men's became the women's and vice versa.<br /><br />What this meant was the faint smell of cosmetic products greeting my nostrils rather than the usual aroma of piss. Also the women's showers are segregated so the awkward genital avoidance ritual was not needed.<br /><br />After my last swim my eyes almost popped out due to the water pressure. To reduce the bloodshot nature of my pupils I bought some goggles. They were some mighty fine goggles. <br /><br />After getting over the horror of spotting a plaster on the pool floor I enjoyed the improved vision they gave me. I'm normally a bit macho with other man swimmers, but there was someone in my lane whose flip turns were so good that I forgave his barging across my water.goatman-ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08460723083426875991noreply@blogger.com0